A state of being developed and experienced during meditation. Characterized by reduced metabolic activity coupled with wakefulness. Imagine living with a healthy balance of sympathetic and para-sympathetic brain state. Also called restful alertness.

Rules & limits for how to navigate relationships. Even though these can be spoken and unspoken, we reach authentic consent when the agreements are verbalized.

The border or metaphysical fence that exists around my domain. This border represents the mental and emotional limits I set for myself in my interactions with others, essentially defining what behaviors, actions, and communication styles are acceptable and what are not, allowing me to protect my personal space and well-being within any given relationship. 

The process of learning to ‘read’ the unconscious, nonverbal responses of others in relationship.

When my internal beliefs, strategies, and behaviors fully agree, align, and are orientated to securing a desired outcome.

A spoken agreement about independence and power balance in relationships.

I teach consent as a communication model that enhances our understanding of ourselves through desires, boundaries, limits, curiosity, and different types of agreements.

A context is the framework surrounding a particular event. This framework will often determine how a specific experience or event is interpreted.

Currency is energy or items that are valued and exchanged.

We use the definition from Permaculture principles that describe currency as eight forms: Social, Material, Living, Experiential, Cultural, Intellectual, Spiritual, and Financial.

Incremental steps to taking better care of yourself.

The area of life that includes my rights & my responsibilities. Aspects of life that exist within my domain are mine and mine alone.

Where intention and dedication meet, repeat, and keep going despite difficulty.

Information for negotiating domains, boundaries, limits, and agreements.

Using “I” statements here helps us maintain rapport during this process.

“How do you eat an elephant?!”

One bite at a time. When we take baby steps to reach our goals, we learn progress beats perfection… one step at a time.

Appropriate tension to help us grow in our relationships.

If you react strongly to criticism, become physically and emotionally overstimulated more easily than others do, and have a rich inner life, you may score highly in sensory processing sensitivity. You may also feel as if you have a higher capacity for empathy and are quite sensitive to others’ moods.

The point where I risk moving beyond my capacity. Limits are worth checking in on- our capacities grow and change often.

A complex network of sensory experiences, emotions, and thoughts stored in the mind, represented as a pattern of neural connections, that can be accessed and modified through language and other sensory cues. The most influential memories are typically related to trauma and emotions.

Co-founded by Richard Bandler and John Grinder. There are many valuable descriptions of NLP.

I describe it as a model for exploring how we think, communicate and change.

Whichever definition you choose, NLP involves a study of attitudes that lead to success, modeling great performance and distilling both into techniques that enable others to produce improved results in a given context.

The ability of brain architecture to be changed by experience.

Someone who invests time and attention to support the relationship as change occurs.

A process where and when change occurs.

Explains the relationship between the nervous system, social relationships, and mental health.

Since the body evaluates risk and safety through a process called neuroception, the theory explains how the autonomic (fight, flight, freeze, fawn) nervous system is involved in one’s social behavior, including emotional expression, communication, and facial gestures. 

One’s ability to make decisions and create change within their domain.

“Owning my power creates ripples that enrich my community, my potential, and my legacy.”

Rapport in relationships is earned through verbal & non-verbal communication. We know we have established rapport when we share a mutual process of responsiveness, not necessarily “liking.”

Underneath some negative or problematic behaviors, there is a positive function. For example, we may stay in avoidance because it protects us from our fear of the unknown.

The practice of noticing patterns in your language, tone, behaviors, and personality. To hone this skill is to add intention to your habits and behaviors. This is the only way to make a permanent change.

Persistence in seeking solutions over analyzing problems, behaviors focuses on actions that drive resolution rather than avoiding problems.

A time-management tool that supports steady progress toward our most audacious goals.

High-level generalizations that represent what is most important to a person, acting as a filter through which they evaluate their actions and decisions, essentially defining what they consider "good" or "bad" and guiding their behavior towards what they deeply desire.

Wisdom = experience PLUS learning.

If we don’t learn, we don’t earn our full experience and we miss the nectar of our effort.